Archive for August 18th, 2009

August 18, 2009

My wife is over weight. What can I do….?

by Rod Smith

“I have tried for months to draw my wife’s attention to her weight. She is overweight by several kilos and doesn’t seem to care. This is very important to me. It is not about sex. I just feel embarrassed to be with a woman who doesn’t seem to care what she looks like. Help.”



Please send me a detailed account of exactly the manner in which you have tried to draw your wife’s attention to her weight. Such an account would offer me volumes of material about regarding how you relate, communicate, handle and resolve conflict with each other. It also might become a guide of what NOT to do or say.

The lower your emotional health (the less healthy you are) the greater will be your fixation with her weight – you will believe that her weight somehow reflects on you, reveals something about you, or is somehow your business. If allowed, you will become obsessed with her weight, eating, and exercise routine to the point that it will damage more than your sex life.

The higher your functioning (the healthier you are), the less you will notice her weight and you will certainly not feel responsible for her weight or embarrassed by it.

Focus on YOUR emotional health and not on her weight. If you push her, remember that even in the emotional realm, every action has an equal and opposite reaction.