My girlfriend is very moody..

by Rod Smith

“My girl friend who I want to marry is very jealous and moody but it shouldn’t be a problem. I can say nothing to her about it. If a female even brushes against me she jumps down my throat. She is always the one wanting to end the relationship even if she is wrong in a situation. What can i do about it?”

USA

USA

Rod: Moodiness and jealousy are bottomless pits and the gateway to relationship hell. I’d bail now until your girlfriend gets suitable medical help and decides to assume the challenge of really growing up. When someone constantly threatens to end a relationship it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Don’t play the “re-assurance game” requiring you to rebut her threats with having to repeat your desire to remain in the relationship. Assuming your “brushes” with other women are innocent, don’t modify your behavior to accommodate your girlfriend’s moodiness or jealousies. If you do, her controlling behaviors will only increase. If jealousy and moodiness are issues before you marry, they will remain and intensify after marriage. Both will require endless energy and attention from you while you believe you can do something about them. You cannot. The ONLY person who might be able to do something about them is the host – your girlfriend.

Midwest, USA

Midwest, USA

Kathryn:You CAN say something to her about it, unless you don’t mind being controlled and your life dictated to you. This certainly will become a problem that, once married, will be much worse. Jealousy is the antithesis of genuine love. It comes from focusing all your energy on another in an attempt to soothe yourself. Moodiness can be an attempt to control. Both will become tiresome very quickly. It is my suggestion that you begin discussing what effect her moodiness and jealousy have upon you before you get married. A healthy marriage is one in which both partners want the other to grow and reach their full potential in life. It is not fueled by an attempt to gain a false sense of security by having control over another. Where is the love?

Scotland

Scotland

Jo: Jealousy kills love; it tries to control and manipulate others. You have a big problem. Do you respect yourself enough not to tolerate your girlfriend’s behaviour towards you? Will you draw a line in the sand and tell her it must stop? Does she love you enough to find help for her moods and her jealousy? If the answer to these questions is “yes” then maybe there is hope for your relationship. If not then the road ahead could be very tricky. A healthy marriage has a foundation of honesty and respect, even when it is difficult. Lose that and you have lost everything.

ACT, Australia

ACT, Australia

You are involved deeply with someone who doesn’t trust you. It causes me to wonder why you want to marry her. She isn’t confident in your love for her and feels she must ‘own’ you to keep you. It would be a good idea to ‘rethink’ your decision to spend the rest of your life with this lady. What you see behaviourly before marriage will only intensifies after the ceremony. Do you really want to have a lifetime of walking on eggshells when you are with her?

2 Comments to “My girlfriend is very moody..”

  1. I am not defending a moody partner or the accuser; however, this is one side of the story and there will always be a bias. The question is can you recall any events in the relationship that roused suspicion and mistrust? I cannot think of one person I know who would consider marrying a person who appeared so unstable UNLESS they know in some way it was warranted. For example, has she caught you in deception where other women are concerned? Are the women who have merely brushed against you ever been a problem in the relationship? Do you tend to hide things from her? If there has been openness and honesty ESPECIALLY where other women are concerned, then her moods need to be addressed by a professional to understand where it is coming from. If you have done absolutely nothing to provoke her behavior… you may want to hold off on proposing until it’s resolved.

    Best of luck to you both~

    • Beth :
      I am not defending a moody partner or the accuser; however, this is one side of the story and there will always be a bias. The question is can you recall any events in the relationship that roused suspicion and mistrust? I cannot think of one person I know who would consider marrying a person who appeared so unstable UNLESS they know in some way it was warranted. For example, has she caught you in deception where other women are concerned? Are the women who have merely brushed against you ever been a problem in the relationship? Do you tend to hide things from her? If there has been openness and honesty ESPECIALLY where other women are concerned, then her moods need to be addressed by a professional to understand where it is coming from. If you have done absolutely nothing to provoke her behavior… you may want to hold off on proposing until it’s resolved.
      Best of luck to you both~

      I think this is a different issue…

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