Occasionally I like to recommend a book I have found inspiring. Anyone in any form of leadership will benefit from Rabbi Edwin Friedman’s Failure of Nerve, Leadership in the age of the quick fix. While no light reading, it is so very good it ought to be banned!

That said, here’s Tuesday’s MERCURY column:

You want greater emotional health?

1. No blaming. Take full responsibility for you life. It’s impossible to create the future you want while you are convinced you are a victim.
2. Try to separate feeling and thinking. Lead with your head, not with your heart. Thinking (deliberating, discussing) yourself into your future, rather than “feeling” your way, will at least gives you some opportunity for objectivity. “Feelings” will make you feel as if you only have extreme choices – usually all or nothing, fight or flight. Thinking will show you there are more options than you feel.
3. So-called “burnout” is not from working too hard but from living a meddling lifestyle. Remove yourself from the middle. Get out of the way of issues that are none of your business and you will be surprised at how much of a load will be lifted from your shoulders and how much more energy you will have.
4. Forgive everyone, everything, always. (I am not sure commas are necessary – what do you think?)

Posted on June 29, 2009 at 6:44 am in Boundaries, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Education, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Leadership, Listening   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL