Archive for June 2nd, 2009

June 2, 2009

He spoils our son

by Rod Smith

“I have a son (7) who is a lovely child who can be manipulative. He gets his own way most of the time which my husband allows and which I find hard to accept. I think my husband spoils the boy because he’s our only child. My son ‘takes’ to my husband more and if I discipline my son my husband gets offended and screams and shouts at me in presence of the child. At the moment I am much stressed and haven’t a clue what to do. My son’s behavior is becoming intolerable and beginning to irritate me. It’s like I’m heading for a nervous breakdown.” (Edited)

Take up your life....

Take up your life....

This is a toxic triangle – one person is trapped by the collusion of at least two others. This common set-up can be particularly painful for the marginalized parent. Screaming at each other will only make the triangle more rigid. While speaking up (no screaming or shouting!) is unlikely to get your husband’s attention I’d suggest you continue to try. Address the issues when the environment is less “charged” or emotionally neutral. If this fails, plan something benign yet radical to amplify or to expose the triangle. If it is clever, even humorous, it might get your husband’s attention.