Healthy people are often unpredictable and free. They readily forgive. They do not dominate, manipulate, or intimidate others. True (authentic) listening occurs. No one pretends they are “okay” when they are not. Healthy people do not spend a lot of time analyzing their relationships. Friends and lovers have individual goals and shared goals. People speak for themselves, plan and make choices for themselves. They honor community but are not trapped by it. Healthy people have complete freedom within the constrictions of their commitments and obligations. They understand it is more important to love than it is to be right or to win. They laugh a lot.

When people are emotionally and psychologically healthy they can be in close relationships because they choose to be. Nothing feels forced, obligated, manufactured, or pretended. Sarcasm, using words to intentionally hurt someone, is avoided.

Conflict is not considered as necessarily negative. They know people can love and enjoy each other and disagree at the same time. Hurt, fear and loneliness can be talked about freely. Winning and losing are not as important as honoring, loving, and respecting each other. They do not “corner” each other in order to feel love. Healthy people expand each others options, they love spontaneity, and embrace and encourage diversity.