How can I get him to talk about marrying me?

by Rod Smith

“I have been seeing a man for two years. We’re both in our early thirties. I really want to get married but he never talks about. How can I get him to talk about marrying me and about where this relationship is going? We need more communication.”

1.“No communication” is impossible. You are missing what is already being said. Couples often think the issue is “more communication” and fail to hear what is already being communicated. He is “telling” you that he has no interest in being married to you.
2. The passive “partner” runs the relationship. The frustrations you already feel will become life long frustrations if you do marry. If you have to work this hard before you are married do you think being married will be any easier? There’s power in being passive and he’s got it. You’re working this thing as if your life depends on it and he is silent.
3. The harder you work, the more passive he will become. He has all the power and leverage because, in seeking it, you have given it to him. This is a simple, albeit perverse, law of relationships.
4. He has already decided where this relationship is “going.” You get to decide if you will go “nowhere” with him.
5. Can it be redeemed? Perhaps. Start by completely backing off. Emulate his passivity. It might jump-start him into action. Then again, it might not.

One Comment to “How can I get him to talk about marrying me?”

  1. Dear Reader:

    “I really want to get married,” you wrote but didn’t say “to him.” Listen to yourself and be blessed by what you hear.

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