“My stepdaughter (22) is getting married and I have been asked NOT to walk her down the aisle as I am not her biological father. I have been with this young woman since she was 7 and treated her as my own. We have been very close. Now a man, her biological father, whom she hardly knows, and has seen her only a few times a year, wants to step in and walk her down the aisle at a wedding I am paying for! This is absurd. What should I do?” (Letter shortened)

First: you’ve not mentioned what your daughter wants.

Second: I’d suggest the parent who has walked alongside the bride-to-be through childhood, helped her through the challenges of early adolescents, witnessed her joys and the drama that sometimes accompany the teen years, is the one who ought to walk her down the aisle.

Third: although it is not said, my prediction is that your daughter doesn’t want to hurt her biological father’s feelings. I’d suggest you meet face-to-face with your daughter’s biological father and discuss what would be most appropriate. Perhaps you could both do it!