Posts tagged ‘Weddings’

June 24, 2012

Before you say “I do”……

by Rod Smith

Planning a wedding? Resist engaging a wedding planner until you take a look at these pointers to see if you think it’s worth proceeding….

  1. Examine finances. If money is an issue with one, but not for the other, turbulence lies ahead. Nothing can stir love woes like money woes. If both are financially challenged, and I don’t mean poor, I mean poorly equipped at managing money, run a proverbial mile. All the love in the world won’t impress the bank or keep a financially stressed marriage going.
  2. Assess the source of the energy behind the wedding plans. If the bride is the powerhouse and the groom is tagging along because it is “her” wedding – guess what is unlikely to change? If it is his or her mother, run hard, fast, and soon.
  3. Honestly assess the bedroom (metaphor for sex and all things intimate). The person who least desires sex, is the one driving the relationship. Note, I said, desires. I said nothing about acting on the desires. Also, many a really hot pre-marriage bedroom cooled to polar temperatures soon after the honeymoon. If intimacy is used to gain power, it will soon cease.
  4. Examine integrity. Cheats, liars, and addicts can change, but usually not very much.
July 13, 2008

He wants to walk her down the aisle…..

by Rod Smith

“My stepdaughter (22) is getting married and I have been asked NOT to walk her down the aisle as I am not her biological father. I have been with this young woman since she was 7 and treated her as my own. We have been very close. Now a man, her biological father, whom she hardly knows, and has seen her only a few times a year, wants to step in and walk her down the aisle at a wedding I am paying for! This is absurd. What should I do?” (Letter shortened)

First: you’ve not mentioned what your daughter wants.

Second: I’d suggest the parent who has walked alongside the bride-to-be through childhood, helped her through the challenges of early adolescents, witnessed her joys and the drama that sometimes accompany the teen years, is the one who ought to walk her down the aisle.

Third: although it is not said, my prediction is that your daughter doesn’t want to hurt her biological father’s feelings. I’d suggest you meet face-to-face with your daughter’s biological father and discuss what would be most appropriate. Perhaps you could both do it!

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