Archive for July 16th, 2008

July 16, 2008

I want love and respect….

by Rod Smith

“I have been with my husband for 8 years although be only got married this May. I was attracted to him because of the way he was direct. I met him when I was on a very steep cliff ready to jump and he showed interest in me, which was strange because he didn’t want a relationship. I have worked tirelessly to be with him. A week after we got married I left him. He stalked me, begging me to meet. I did. He promised me the world and I fell for it. He is controlling doesn’t want me to see my family. Nothing I do is good enough, I cook, clean, mow grass, clean gutters and organize the office. We haven’t had sex in two years. I am dying inside. Why doesn’t he want me? One of the biggest things that bothers me is I sing and we have a studio in our house and I have been asking him to burn music for me and he doesn’t. I just want to be loved and respected.” (Letter shortened)

You said he “didn’t want a relationship” and nothing has changed. You want something he appears unable to offer. Figure out what YOU want. Being loved and respected begins with YOU, not with him.

Contact Rod Smith (even while “one the road”) at or visit

July 16, 2008

Where in the world are the Smiths……?

by Rod Smith

Thank you for your faithful readership in newspapers and anywhere you might access this column. Readers frequently ask personal questions about what I am doing. I think Fridays are good days for such divulgences!

This past two weeks I’ve driven across the USA. We – two adults, two children (aged 10 and 6), packed everything we need (and more!) and set off in our Ford truck on the 7000-kilometer (4400 mile) return journey. I plan to get us home mid-August, a week before the children will return to school.

Over the ten days we have camped, we’ve slept in a side-less, door–less shelter at an outward-bound facility, and spent three nights in a luxury guest house overlooking Scottsdale and Phoenix, Arizona. Now, while in Los Angeles, we are guest of a community training college students to serve the world’s poor.

On Friday we’ll fly to Hawaii where I will rest for a week before I speak for a week to an audience of 50 Korean adults about the ins-and-outs of family therapy. Then we’ll fly to the “mainland” and begin our long drive from LA, via San Francisco, back to our home in the Midwest.

At every stop along the way I scurry for Internet access that I may catch up with readers and ensure I meet my Mercury and other submission deadlines.

Rod Smith is a Family Therapist, contact him (even while “one the road”) at or visit