Feeling second-guessed…

by Rod Smith

“I am so sad. It is so difficult to be second-guessed. My husband tells me not to worry about it yet I can’t help but feel displaced whenever my in-laws decide to take my role (with my children) or want to criticize me. I cannot win under any circumstance. Please help me learn how to be satisfied with myself.”

It is not about “winning” as much as it is clearly defining yourself (to your husband and in-laws). Unless invasive people (people with poor boundaries) hear a clear statement regarding your boundaries, they will invade your life and family, and their invasions will grow progressively stronger.

Your husband, is appears, is unable (unwilling) to assist you. He apparently wants to avoid necessary confrontation required to clearly separate his “new” family (primary responsibility) from what was his family (secondary responsibility).

Being more satisfied with yourself will emerge from within many aspects of your life as you make your voice known to your children, husband and in-laws. These encounters of self-definition need not be negative to be effective. Using playfulness is a good place to start. Thereafter, you might need to be more assertive if you are going to be heard. It takes a life-time to be heard, I’d suggest you start voicing your thoughts and feelings as soon as possible.

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