“Since I have stopped communications with two of my friends via telephone, ‘sms’ and visiting to their homes the relationships have ceased. Prior to this I highlighted that if I did not contact them, they’d not communicate with me. They would not bother sending me an sms checking to see if I was doing okay. Their excuse was always distance and airtime, yet, when they needed a loan or something, distance did not stop them coming to my home. One of my friends began communicating with my partner, little chitchats, and not once did I see a message from her asking how I was doing. Am I just a friend to them when they need something? Am I being petty or is what i am feeling true?” (Edited slightly)
Rod replies: The relationships are not reciprocal and you feel used. The details might be petty but the feelings are real. Remain calm and tell both friends exactly what you see and feel. You may have to resign yourself to enjoy one-sided friendships, or find more responsive friends. Resist reading your partners chitchats with others. It’s not a good idea. Then, if you want someone to know how you are, tell him or her, rather than wait to be asked. The former is healthy. The latter is a manipulative ploy.
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