Archive for November 27th, 2006

November 27, 2006

When is love not love anymore…..? He has to see he needs help and his problem won’t let him….

by Rod Smith

“I love my sometimes- abusive boyfriend very much. I moved out and I know that was a good step. I still deeply love him. He won’t get help for his problems because he doesn’t understand he has an illness. The illness prevents from seeing it. It’s circular. How can you get through to someone like this without setting them off or making them perceive you as the enemy? How can someone get the professional help they need if they don’t see that they have a problem? The person who is abusive has to recognize the problem and be willing to seek help. No one can force it. ‘Sorry’ is are all we have sometimes, and if you love someone how can you turn your back on them, especially if you can see they need help?” (Letter edited)

Rod Response:

At some point you have to love yourself more than you love your boyfriend, otherwise the relationship will destroy you. How will I ever get you to see this?

Focus on your health and not on his. This is not selfish, it is wise.

Believe it or not, there are more important things than love. Your survival is one of them.

Something is deeply amiss when your love is so compelling it is self-destructive.

This is, of course, when is ceases to be love.