Responsive people can help heal relationships

by Rod Smith

Are you a responsive person (as opposed to a reactive person)?

1. Responsive people can function within life’s many tensions without becoming overwhelmed.
2. They can see possibilities within problems.
3. They are extraordinarily flexible and they can be very playful.
4. They shape their emotional environment, bringing calm and creativity to their context, rather than assuming the anxieties of those around them.
5. They initiate creatively rather than react defensively and can be objective and consider implications for everybody involved.
6. They see the immediate and the long-term effects of decisions.
7. They see the whole picture and how the whole moves and changes; they do not see only parts, but also how parts influence and impact each other.
8. They do not recruit others to be on their side when conflict occurs.
9. They are not “either / or” or “black and white” thinkers but can see many alternative options and possibilities when reactive people think there is none.
10. They place thinking above feeling: feeling is consequent to the thinking, not the reverse.

4 Comments to “Responsive people can help heal relationships”

  1. I think, like most people, I have tendencies towards reactiveness and responsivenes.

    I am a responsive person because I put thoughts first and action first. I try very hard not to recruit others to my side – it always seemed a particularly poisonous form of manipulation and also didn’t take account of the other person’s thoughts but imposed your thoughts. I can be very playful and flexible. I don’t assume other people’s anxieties – I have too many of my own to work with and deal.

    I can be a bit of a black and white thinker sometimes, and your points about the big picture and possibilities do not always apply to me. I guess I can be a big picture thinker if I wanted to be and worked at it.

  2. How does one cultivate the responsive attitude? Especially after a lifetime of reactive conditioning? This resonates with who I want to be, who I think I really am . . but I don’t know how to get there from here.

  3. I am non responsive person.. i tend to b silent…
    please guide me to become a responsive person.

    • By really listening, rather then be self absorbed when the other is expressing parts of themselves or of who they are or feel or think.

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