Archive for ‘Grace’

March 18, 2023

Something a little longer for Sunday….. 

by Rod Smith

One thing I notice about the parables of Jesus and other favorite New Testament events, even Jesus one-liners, is that just as soon as I think I understand the parable, the event, the one-liner, it does a number on me.

Refuses to be conquered.

Reveals I’m scratching the surface in understanding, let alone application.

I know this to be true as I study Jesus’ desert trials, His relationship with Peter, betrayals, the terrors of Gethsemane, The Transfiguration, The Woman caught in adultery, “love your enemies,” to name a few. 

For 10 years (at least) these events in Jesus’ life and many of His sayings have refused to let me go and keep offering me more and more opportunities for understanding and for application.

Who really knows what Jesus meant when he said “a seed must die to bear fruit” (John 12:24) and I am not talking botany?

Every believer worth his or her salt has a go at “unpacking” (my least favorite verb I hear in Christendom) this but I think most attempts at interpretation fail to grasp the larger application of the metaphor, let alone how the “death” occurs and how it applies to you and to me.

 Let me know if you think you know. 

Parables, if we are willing to resist the thought that we already know all there is to know about any one of them, will unfold meaning for years and go deeper and deeper into the willing heart with revelation.

Thinking I know becomes a blockage. My blockage. Time after time reading them I go back to what I already know, which keeps new understanding waiting in the wings for an opportunity to get a moment on stage.

Another thing I find blocks my learning is when I become an insight addict and seek insight and more insight into Scripture but resist or refuse to put the insights into the daily-life action.

Insight, without accompanying action, is not only useless, it blocks further revelation. Then, if I get any insight, refusing to act on what I see becomes a ditch into which my insight tumbles and I become another of millions upon millions of Christains who are incredibly insightful who are very willing to talk, often endlessly, about what they see in whatever be the Biblical topic. And that’s about it.

My gosh, have I met some insightful and loquacious Christians?

Certainty, too, seals shut possibilities of growth and learning. 

It stops discovery. Certainty block’s revelation. 

I find embracing ambiguity and possibility for behavior change opens the floodgates to new understanding and new ways to be in the world.

Understanding Scripture requires change. Transformation. Understanding Scripture will demand it be more than an academic exercise and will seek to influence who and how we are as men and women in our various roles in our various communities and within our families.   

I have read the “Prodigal Son” many many times and have often thought I have a reasonable take on Jesus’ point. My perspectives change if I read it as if I am the Older Brother when my default has always been to read it as the younger, returning son, the “good” guy. When reading the parable from the Older Brother’s point of view I have no problem understanding why he has an issue with the upstart’s return and why he avoids the party. If I read it from the perspective of the Father it doesn’t take long before I am reduced to tears. I think I know that kind of love, at least as much as I am able. My sons have been trying to teach me about it since they entered the world and broke into my heart.

Shifting my point of view when I read “The Good Samaritan” also allows for new insights. I start from the perspective of the “questioning” lawyer. Then I move on through Jesus’ list of characters and end up reading it as the victim who receives assistance from the Samaritan.

When I read it as The Samaritan, I am reduced to tears.

In contrast to the “trained” and the professionals, the ones who should know, the rejected one is the loving one, the one who was never considered a neighbor, the “other,” is the one who goes the extra mile and loves his enemy and models neighborliness.

Have a fabulous Sunday.

March 14, 2023

Keep it clean

by Rod Smith

Harking back to my early music days – I began to perform publicly at 14 – my dad always told me to keep it clean.

He said that comedians and musicians never needed to be “blue” which meant suggestive or sexual. He said no one ever needed to use swear words or “bad words” or racial slurs in order to be funny.

Dad said that real artists could do it all without resorting to filth, claiming it was the distinguisher between real talent and those who were found lacking.

I know my dad would cringe if he were around today. Browsing an airport bookstore recently I was surprised how many book titles contain the “f” word on the cover. There are clergy who think it is cool or authentic or “vulnerable” to use the “F-word” in common exchanges and in print and from the pulpit.

Keep it clean, really. 

What we say and how we say it exposes our hearts.

It reveals what’s going on within you and me.

It lets others into what’s going on within each of us and I hate it when I am in a place where it feels necessary to use words I know my dad would prefer me to avoid.

Duke keeps it clean…..
March 13, 2023

Suggestion for Hallmark

by Rod Smith

I’m amused at how many “special days” there are and how many I miss. I’ve got the very best sister and brother on the planet but “National Siblings Day” comes and goes and I’m usually none the wiser. I missed “National Sons Day” quite recently. “French Bulldog Day” too, comes and goes and I’m yet to post a picture of Maggie dressed to the nines in her French Pink collar. 

I’d like to suggest a few new holidays for Hallmark or whoever pushes these special days:

Good Samaritan Day — love someone (send flowers, bake cookies, research what he or she needs and provide it) whom you could legitimately reject or who could legitimately reject you. That, after all, is the essence of the parable. It’s not about dumping “the poor” with stuff you don’t need or want.

Prodigal Day — Dismount your high horse and throw a party of welcome for all the “wrong” and “lost” and rejected people you know whether they’ve “changed” or not. There’s no indication in the parable that the returning son has “repented” and it may well be you or me who really has to.

Woman Caught in Adultery Day — leave your “stones” of judgment at home and walk through the day humbly aware of your own shortcomings. Jesus gives the woman a break and an identity. Let’s do the same for all the “tragic figures” we meet and perhaps someone will have and display similar grace for us, yes, you and me.

Meet Maggie
March 11, 2023

Are real conversations a dying art?

by Rod Smith

Screen-obsession may be rendering face-to-face conversations a dying art. 

You may have noticed some people can look deeply into a screen for hours but are uncomfortable, even unsettled, rattled really, with the briefest of human eye-contact. 

I acknowledge this idea will not fly in some cultures and contexts and none of which I’ll name.

Adapt the words (adjust, make the idea sound like your own) that follow to avoid sounding ridiculous and contrived, but use the broad ideas in face-to-face conversations.

Be gentle, you may be met with delight or horror!

“I am interested in how you arrived here (this job, predicament, fabulous place). Tell me as much as you’d like me to know.” 

“I will give you an hour (ten minutes, two hours, choose your amount of time) of uninterrupted time to tell me as much or as little about anything you choose. I will listen with both ears, both eyes, and all my heart and offer zero advice or judgment.”

“I’d love to hear about what you want from your life and about your plans to achieve what you want with your life.”

“What are the three or four greatest challenges you’ve ever faced? I’m interested in learning. Tell me as much or as little as you’d like me to know.”

[web only- not for Merc]

Some time ago – my sons. Pure delight.
March 10, 2023

Does God open and close doors?

by Rod Smith

“Do you think that God opens and closes doors for people?” asks a close friend. 

I’m so glad to hear how well you’re doing.

Now to your question:

Women and men open and close doors for each other in many ways all over the world and it is therefore a convenient metaphor to apply to God.

I’m not so sure that God “operates” on quite the same plane, is quite so transactional, and impersonal. I think the idea is dangerously Anthropomorphic (that’s not the exact word I need but it’ll work for now). The metaphor is hard to escape, given that it’s such a widely held belief, I think it limits our understanding of God’s willing and intimate and vibrant connection with each and all humans, if we recognize it or not.

Doors do close. And open. Sometimes doors slam shut. On occasion a closed door needs a bulldozer while some ought to be forever sealed shut. Wisdom is knowing the difference. Wisdom is appreciating that things change: an open door today may need demolishing next year.

The problem with attributing all this to God can reduce us to anxious lab rats trying to avoid getting doors slammed on our tails or in our faces. God is too loving and kind for life to be an endless quest of chasing opening or closing elevator and other doors.

God is at one time, while building God’s Kingdom, Ultimately Intimate and Dangerously Loving while Equally close and involved in matters historical, political, and geographical.

Nothing, absolutely nothing takes God by surprise except when we, you and I, embrace and live to the best of God’s Empowerment, the Counter-Intuitive Gospel. It takes even God by surprise when we actually Love our enemies and embrace the Stranger and don’t just preach about it. Preaching drones on, and on but actions of Love and Acceptance and the Embodiment of Love in unexpected places gets God’s attention.

You are where you are and are intimate with whom you are intimate in a family as the result of Divine Courage – yours and God’s and mine (I was there if you recall) and the host of friends and family who all rejoiced with you on that beautiful day.

And, what a day it was. 

Doors didn’t open and close, continents tipped and nations conspired to bring you and your Blessed husband together.

I know.

I was there.

Before the beginning of your profound discovery of each other I was there and watched it all unfold and was regularly caught quite off-guard by the sheer beauty of your mutual discovery of each other.

You brought each other to greater life. You resurrected each other to life more beautiful and challenging and annoying than each of you had previously known. And it was nerve wracking and magnificent to witness, and, I’m sure, to experience, and continue to experience.

Open and close doors?

No, I think rather God moves mountain ranges of doubt and fear and replaces them with the quality of courage you both displayed when you said “I do” (less than a meter from me). At that moment a continental shift occurred and made you one and then over time made you many and then made you one and then many and on and on to all be more beautiful now – including your fabulous children of course – than when you said “I do” and you were already beautiful then, too!

Now, your question and visiting these memories has made me cry.

*****************

Unrelated picture —— Nate will be 21 in a few weeks!

March 2, 2023

The gift of Fridays

by Rod Smith

I like to think of every Friday as a good one, no matter how trying a week may have been. Fridays announce the fire-break, declare the rest-stop, the opportunity for the breather that’s just around the corner. 

Fridays are for letting things go, the cumulative stresses of all that’s come at me from Monday. I hope it’ll be the same for you.

Fridays are for a few handwritten notes in the mail, notes of affirmation and thanks, not necessarily for what’s occurred in the past few days but an expression of thanks to those who’ve got me to this point. Consider joining me, it’s amazing how good it feels to write without a screen. 

Fridays are for re-envisioning the shape of the future, not only next week and six months ahead, but my role is in creating a great tomorrow for my children’s children’s children. We really do, like it or not, for good and for ill and everything in between, invest in the future.

Fridays are plan-my-weekend reading opportunities and so I rather informally gather the books and articles I’m hoping to start or finish.  I confess, this is an ongoing challenge but remains refreshing because it is unfinished. 

Fridays are for scheduling one-on-one phone-free, screen-free time over the weekend with our most intimate circle of family and friends.

I recommend this fabulous book to you….
February 26, 2023

Reunion

by Rod Smith

If you ever want a beautiful picture of mercy the Biblical account of the life of Joseph is the place to go.

His response to his desperate, begging brothers embodies the quality of mercy I have often received. 

While in Genesis, you will encounter with Joseph moments of extraordinary grace and healing, on top of surely being bombarded with the impulse to burst out in songs from the musical that bears his name.  

Following a rather violent and involuntary departure and after decades of separation from his family, Joseph abounds in kindness and mercy towards his brothers. This same band of brothers found young Joseph so threatening they discarded him into a well, as a kinder option to killing him, and then sold him to a traveling caravan. 

As a result  of their jealousy and violence Joseph spent years in isolation and torment. 

When, decades later and faced with his brothers, Joseph would be justified if he chose to have nothing to do with them or exercised his extraordinary powers in the pharaoh’s domain to have them arrested and held accountable for their crimes. 

But no, recognizing who they are, knowing his brothers have come in search of help, he discloses his identity.  

“I am Joseph. Is my father still alive?”

His first question is about their father’s wellbeing. 

I cannot imagine being cut-off from my extended family, all of whom live in distant countries. 

I cannot imagine not knowing if one of my closest relatives is living or dead. 

Joseph’s retribution quotient rests firmly at zero. When legitimately, there could be anger, Joseph expresses none. He fosters no desire for pay-back. 

“Come closer,” he says and weeps with relief and gratitude for the opportunity for reconciliation.

“I will provide for you,” he tells them and there are hugs and kisses and weeping all round. 

What a reunion! 

Many families long for such a reunion. 

Do you? 

“Something got in the way,” I hear a woman say revealing she has not spoken to her sister in decades.

“I will never talk to that woman again. She got mom’s dining room table she knew I wanted.”

A table got in the way. 

A dining room table was enough to sever a family tie? 

“Ah, it is not about the table,” may be a legitimate retort. 

I concede it may well not be about a table. Give me a few moments and I could suggest a variety of possible explanations for the schism a table may conveniently represent. 

Family estrangements can be horribly painful but, even sadder, we grow accustomed to them. We live with them. It becomes how life is.

“Something got in the way,” would have been a gross understatement had Joseph chosen victimhood. 

May we each do our parts in getting whatever got in the way, out of the way. 

Joseph embodied mercy when he had the choice to extract vengeance. 

Joseph chose humility, when he indeed could have demanded his brothers bow before him and beg for their lives.

By grace-upon-grace, may we each do the same.

February 25, 2023

Of COURSE he/she is hard to love (#2)

by Rod Smith

If you fall in love (or are friends) with a man or a woman who reveals having had a very difficult childhood there are a few things of which you may want to be aware.

Keep in mind that I am only one voice in a vastly explored arena. It is usually a good idea to get lots of insights from several sources.

Sad thing is that if you have already fallen in love you probably won’t be looking for help.

If you are, it’s because you’ve already begun to see how tough it is to love tough-historied people. (I rather like my euphemism).

“Troubled” or “unsettled” are pejorative terms.

Avoid them.

People from tough backgrounds can be very exciting, motivated and “world-changing” people.

If you are going to be partners you have to learn and understand what kind of music is playing in their heads and hearts and how they dance to it or turn it up or turn it down or turn it off (if they ever can).

They will often be way ahead of most people in terms of being street wise. They have had to be. They have been watching, negotiating, recruiting, debating and have had to have an eye for undercurrents for so long such behaviors are a way of life for them.

They will usually be cunningly intelligent but also possess zero desire to bring harm to you or others.

More about this sometime….

Artist: Trevor Beach – google him or find him on Facebook and buy his art. The above and another hangs in my office. I enjoy the idea that an artist named Beach seems only to paint Ocean Scenes.
February 19, 2023

Look me in the eyes

by Rod Smith

An exercise for couples and friends…… choose your paragraphs wisely:

Look me in the eye and……

To look into the eyes of another may reveal a primal urge to dominate and, in some cultures, it may be a no-no pivoting on age and status, but for me, it’s a desire for deep connection, validation, underscoring that we are, at least for this time, fully present for each other.

When I look you in the eyes I see the beauty of your soul. Your strength, fueled and tended by a thousand faced challenges, radiates power and beauty from you in equal measure. Looking into your eyes gives me courage for my own life.

Look me in the eyes and know I’m embracing everything about you and hope you will return the embrace and accept (almost) everything about me. Nothing I see within you will cause me to retract from you or reject you and if I do appear to shudder it’s in sheer trepidation that comes with authentic committed human connection.

Look me in the eyes and tell me you love me, or loved me once and no longer do, but indifference, avoiding me, and ignoring that I exist, treating me as if I’m invisible, is very hard for me to deal with.

June 8, 2021

Acts of Love

by Rod Smith

I thought I knew what love looked like and then I saw a man’s daughters come home and, with their mother, nurse him back to health after COVID, commuting between their own families and their dad, helping him every step of the way. 

I thought I knew what love looked like and then I met a woman whose husband had, knowing he would precede his wife in death, prepared their home, doing all sorts of repairs and updates, so the house would be perfect for her for many years after his death. 

I thought I knew what community support looked like and understood it a little better when I found out that an entire town lined the streets to welcome a child back home after heart surgery. 

I thought I knew what love looked like and then I met a man who spent up to 12 hours a day nursing and feeding and caring for his wife who hadn’t recognized him for years. 

I thought I knew what love looked like and then I met siblings, one who needed a kidney and one who willingly gave so the other might live. 

What acts of great love have you seen? I’d love to know.