Control, control, control

by Rod Smith

“My husband is very controlling. He monitors my phone (‘it’s a dangerous world’) my dress (‘why would you want to attract unnecessary attention’) and where I am (‘you know how unsafe things are’) and has unreasonable expectations when it comes to intimacy (‘there must be someone else if you don’t want….’). This is suffocating me. I am finding it hard to love him with all the ‘love’ he insists on showing me. The stronger he gets the more I am repelled. I can’t say so because he becomes desperate and then physical. He will restrain me from going anywhere until we have ‘made love’ to ‘seal our relationship’ before I can leave the house.”

The above is not an actual letter. I developed it on behalf three women whom I have known and who have described these binds to me. The women are not clients. They have spoken at public events to illustrate the extent of their cooperation that leads to these degrees of toxicity in some relationships.

If you (male or female) see yourself in any one of these toxic binds, please, get the help you need.

Freedom is the hallmark of love. Jealousy is not; controlling is not.

Get free before you are “loved” to death!

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