She has an ex and a son (5)…..

by Rod Smith

“I am dating a woman who is a little older. She has a son (5) and an ex-husband who is very involved with her (even though they are divorced) and his son. I feel like I am in the middle or in the way. I know it’s over between them but they are still very close in some ways. Please help.”

You feel like you are in the middle because you are. Here are some thoughts and suggestions. Accept or reject at will:

You have entered a family dynamic that began without you. Being the outsider will be your default feeling and position. Make sure you are mature enough to understand and accept this from the outset.

No matter how much the child loves you or treats you as if you were his dad – you are not. Don’t get more invested with the child than you are with the mother.

Even if you are invited, do not discipline the child or make judgments on the child’s father or mother. Both actions will come back to bite you. You have to learn the art of loving a woman while leaving the parenting of her child up to the child’s father.

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