Abort or not abort, this is the question

by Rod Smith

“I need advice about terminating or continuing a pregnancy after a one-night event. I am single. I want the child and will take total responsibility for the child. The man, who has told his parents, is distraught and wants it terminated. I am so confused. He says it will ruin his and his family’s life, even though I will never make any demands on him. Please reply urgently.”

Congratulations. What a joy.

While there are unplanned pregnancies there are no absolutely unplanned people. While this is uniquely your decision, I hope you choose against termination.

Your child will have a mission to embrace and a unique place in the world no matter what the circumstances of the pregnancy. He or she will enhance your life (and the life of his or biological father and the extended families each of you have) if you will simply allow him or her a legitimate place in your world.

That the father and his family are distraught is not sufficient reason to terminate. You have everything you need to do this alone. Go ahead, and if possible, keep his name off the birth certificate.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, has enriched my life more than the two “unplanned pregnancies” who I am about to wake up and send off to school.

2 Comments to “Abort or not abort, this is the question”

  1. For what it’s worth, you have my wholehearted backing.

  2. Ultimately, the choice lies with you, your doctor, and within the framework of your faith.

    I was in your shoes 20 years ago and completely unprepared to parent when the father deserted me. Unfortunately, I made the choice I regretted and terminated. There’s been a void in my heart for my son, who would be 20 years old now
    Two years later, with the same man (where my brain was I don’t know) I had a daughter. He deserted us when she was two month old.

    Life was not always easy for my daughter and I, but I never once regretted having and keeping that beautiful young lady! Her father has denied her since birth, and his parents had very little to do with her. She has two half brothers (he did the same thing to them) and has a great relationship with those boys and their mother! I urge you to consider carefully a decision that is so life changing as termination– what is stressor for this moment is likely to be such a blessing to you and your family for many more moments. All my best!

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