Archive for October 27th, 2010

October 27, 2010

Taking the high road when faced with family conflict

by Rod Smith

Healthy attitudes when your family is in turmoil:

1. The solution, or at least an approximate solution, begins with me. I will ask myself what can I do to move this issue toward resolution.
2. While I am willing to stand my ground, I will not do so at the cost of the integrity (unity) of the family. Although I know it is not about winning or losing I am willing to appear to lose so the family might win.
3. Taking the “high road” is likely to teach me more than having a win-at-all-cost attitude.
4. Before I confront others I will examine my heart and do what I can to rid myself of unhelpful thinking.
5. I know that in any conflict it is the more mature person (which often has little to do with chronological age) who is key to helping the family find resolution.
6. I will yield rather than hurt, I will forgive rather than harbor resentment, I will hold my tongue rather than use it to increase the conflict.
7. I know that nothing is gained by bringing up past issues, by blaming others, or by judging myself for things in my past with information I have in the present.