My son and I want to share space and expenses…..

by Rod Smith

“I want insight my son and grandson and I living together. We each have insufficient funds to live on our own. My son and grandson are slobs and I’m expected to do most of the kitchen work. The boy (my grandson) has some kind of thinking disability related to hyperactivity/attention deficit and both are loud, play rough, and do a lot of man/boy stuff much to my chagrin. My younger son has also hounded me to ‘get a man’ and to release his brother from my life. So: Is it so awful for a son to live with and help support his mother? What is protocol when either of us has company, and is it okay for us both to have outside company in the common areas of the house and/or in our individual bedrooms?”

Rod Smith, MSMFT

What you are planning is expected in many parts of the world. My only reservation is that it appears your son is willing to abdicate some of his responsibilities – by leaving cleaning and cooking to you. Develop a full life of your own while sharing accommodation. You and your son will determine the “correct” protocol regarding guests. Talk over all possible scenarios and therefore minimize the potential for surprises and disappointment.

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