“We indulged our daughters. One moved back to our home with her husband to be closer to university. Although we had an agreement that they would buy groceries we did not want any rent. They began having some problems in their marriage and we did not want to get involved. This turned ugly because she spoke to us very disrespectful way and I then told her that we would not tolerate her behavior in our house. Within a short time they found a new place to live and moved out without a goodbye or thank you. We are aware that we as parents are partly or completely responsible for this situation but how do we fix this?”

You are powerful BUT no parent is sufficiently powerful to create this behavior from a daughter. You might have spoiled her, yes, but she is now responsible for who she is, not you. Don’t blame yourself. While you have not been perfect, blaming yourself will improve nothing. This young woman and her husband both have a lot of growing up to do and it won’t happen while you are swinging on a leash of guilt.

Posted on November 29, 2009 at 8:14 am in Attraction, Boundaries, Communication, Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Voice   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL