Archive for February, 2009

February 5, 2009

Getting over the hurts of the past

by Rod Smith

dsc_0642Care runs deep. Its impact endures, penetrates and enhances the heart and the soul. I know it. You also know it. Remember. Re-play the moment when a teacher cared, or a coach encouraged you. Recall the times your parents showed extra care toward you in sensitive moments, and the warmth and the love and the encouragement will come tumbling back into you. The moments of care, of acceptance, of validation will revisit and inspire you once again.

Perhaps even more powerfully, moments of neglect, abandonment, hurt, rejection, and violation can enduringly do their dirty work. Quite without invitation, bad memories can flood back in to debilitate, to re-salt wounds, re-open the scars. And when a memory holds the power to knock you off your feet or land you in an uncomfortable past moment, it ought to be subject to cleansing, evaluation, and sometimes to acts of grace and forgiveness.

It is easier to love when we have been loved. Similarly, hurt people can find hurting others acceptable.

But, we are human.

We are of divine extract.

We can cooperate with our pasts, where our past have been helpful, and, (and here’s the real challenge), we are able to rise above our pasts where our pasts have left us damaged, debilitated, and in pain.

February 3, 2009

When meeting someone new …. (a potential best friend or partner)….

by Rod Smith

1. Don’t talk too much. Don’t tell someone whom you have just met any intimate details about yourself (or about others).
2. Remind yourself that it takes years, not minutes or days, to find and make a soul-mate relationship.
3. While there are probably exceptions, regard “love at first sight” as being for teenagers. This will give you a platform of sound and healthy caution.
4. Never give or lend money to someone whom you see as a potential friend or partner.
5. Learn, use, and repeat names. Names are very important to people. Use them.
6. Just as soon as you hear yourself saying things you do not really believe, or you see yourself doing things that are out of character for you – back off. This is a good indication that all is not well.
7. Are you more you, or less you, for having met this person? If you have to silence yourself or monitor your natural behavior when with someone new – you have probably met someone who will not be good for you in the long term.