Archive for April 22nd, 2008

April 22, 2008

He’s insecure about my ex…

by Rod Smith

“My boyfriend and I are about to get married. I have a problem. He’s insecure that my daughter’s father is in her life. What do I do to assure him that nothing is going on between my ex and me other than taking care of our child? What do I do?” (Edited)

It is not you who has the problem. He is the one who is insecure and he is the one who has the issue.

If the man is troubled that his soon-to-be stepdaughter is co-parented by her biological father, the man is not ready for marriage, let alone is he ready to assume duties as a stepparent.

Do not try to reason with insecurity (or jealousy, or possessiveness) or to pacify it. Don’t modify your acceptable and normal responses to your daughter and to her father in an attempt to appease the spirit of insecurity living within him.

Your attempts to please and pacify him will not succeed in anything but in making you into far less the woman you have every potential to be.

Such living will grind you down until you feel like nothing.

I’d suggest you run very fast in the other direction. Once you have gotten over the breakup, find a man who does not behave like a spoiled, hurt child. Such men do exist.