Husbands expect their wives to serve them and reader suggests why…

by Rod Smith

A reader writes…

“Many wives complain that their husbands expect them to be servants. The cause is, in my opinion, quite clear. Many mothers, including those in marriages not destroyed by divorce, run around their children (more so in the case of boys) to meet every request at the drop of a hat: picking up dirty clothes, running errands and being at their beck and call. This extends to mothers putting their own living standards aside so as not to upset their kids. I know this from many of my relationships (I’ve been divorced twice) and from comments from divorced friends. I have seen how the mothers place their kids on pedestals and the kids take full advantage. When ‘little Johnny’ marries he expects his wife to do the same. The sad part is once kids move the mother’s life has a huge hole and she feels shortchanged. I am pleased my son (19) is in the USA and has to sort his own life out.” (Minimally edited)

I’d suggest this dad is on the ball with his insight! Everyone benefits when children assume helpful roles in their families and develop healthy work ethics. Making “Johnny” clean his room at 12 may help him better love his wife at 40!

2 Comments to “Husbands expect their wives to serve them and reader suggests why…”

  1. It’s not just mothers who do that. I know of two separate situations in which the father is pampering the son and explicitly teaching them to disrespect women (women have certain “uses”, etc.) In one, the mother left; the other, the mother was essentially forced out of her son’s life and now a stepmother is suffering… but I don’t know for how much longer! I have a feeling this is more prevalent than is noted. Thank you for letting us know about the wise fathers!

  2. This is very true. When my husband and I got married, he did not even know how to do his own laundry. He expected me to do everything for him (butter his toast, etc.) Haha, that didn’t last long.

    I’m raising my kids (girls) to be very independant and self sufficient, and they do not see me waiting on their dad like a servant. They see two adults working together to get things done, and they know we what we expect of them as far as responsibilities, etc.

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