Healthy Relationships / Rate yourself

by Rod Smith

All relationships have the potential to be both healthy and unhealthy.

Here are signs of healthy relationships:

1. People are close because they choose to be. It is not forced, obligated, manufactured or pretended.

2. Sarcasm is never used. Remember sarcasm is the use of words so as to intentionally hurt or wound another.

3. Individuals can be unpredictable and free. Forgiveness is easily given both to others and self.

4. No one ever dominates, manipulates or intimidates anyone.

5. People listen.

6. People do not pretend they are okay when they are not.

7. People do not spend a lot of time analyzing their relationships.

8. People have both individual and shared goals.

9. Each person is permitted and indeed encouraged to speak, plan, choose and feel for him or herself. Others do not usurp these important functions: the individual is given his or her complete freedom.

10. People understand it is more important to love than it is to be right or to win.

11. People laugh a lot but not at each other.

12. People do not use each other to further their own (often hidden) goals.

Copyright, Rod E. Smith, 1998

One Comment to “Healthy Relationships / Rate yourself”

  1. Dear Mr Smith,

    I am a 49 year old woman who have passed through the despair and loneliness of separation. After 20 years living alone, I found myself at this age going through a big psychological and emotional change – I felt I was open to the desire to care again!

    Whilst this was happening a man who is moslem (I am catholic), who is 15 years my junior and has a child out of wedlock made passes at me and I, having this desire and openness again, did not resist him. I feel very comfortable with him as we get on well but I have noticed in me a reluctance to engage in sexual intercourse. I also spend a lot of time delving and wondering about this relationship especially since it’s so anomalous. I feel very fat and not at all at par with him because of my figure and my age even if he’s a very mature man and very hard working. I am seeing a therapist who is helping me deal with this new experience. Any advice from you is most welcome.

    Thank you

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