Archive for July 31st, 2006

July 31, 2006

Children re-write experiences with dad when they go back to mom

by Rod Smith

My stepsons (8 and 9) visit us on weekends. My husband and I find their visits very thrilling. Occasionally when they get back to their mother’s they speak negatively of their experiences with us. My husband and I have talked this through with their mother. She knows what a nice time they have here and how “normal” we make it. Why would they make it sound negative? Have other readers had similar experiences?

As the children grow up you will see many phases of how they view and interpret their world. I would not make an issue of it. The miracle I see is a step mother, dad and mother are all talking to each other about how to handle the children! Are you aware how rare this is? Congratulations.

I have seen parallel circumstances in my own son who is 8. He will go to an event and have what appears to be the best time of his life – and then “re-write” the experience once it is over. I have come to the conclusion that this is how he copes with something that he has really enjoyed, coming to an end.