Family health begins with individual health. When people are emotionally healthy they enjoy the closeness and intimacy of their primary relationships but also understand the necessary space and distance required within committed relationships. Therefore little or nothing is forced, manufactured or pretended.
Healthy people and healthy families are very unpredictable. They forgive easily. People do not dominate, manipulate or intimidate each other. True listening happens. No one pretends they are “okay” when they are not. Healthy people do not spend a lot of time analyzing their relationships. People have individual and shared goals. Individuals speak for themselves, plan and make choices for themselves – and the family doesn’t feel threatened. Healthy people understand they have complete freedom within their commitments and understand it is more important to love than it is to be right or to win.
Conflict is not considered negative. They know people can love and enjoy each other and disagree at the same time. Hurt, fear and loneliness can be talked about freely. They do not trap each other in order to feel loved, they expand each other’s options and they encourage adventure and diversity.
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