No matter how much love or patience or gentleness or forgiveness there may be in a relationship it is impossible to:
- Make someone love you or stay with you who wants to leave you and wants to go. All your attempts will backfire and reinforce the desire to leave. I know it is tough to do but you will save yourself a lot of trauma and pain if you allow him or her the freedom he or she is seeking.
- Make an unfaithful person faithful. His or her indiscretions are purely and uniquely his or her problem and not yours. You make it yours when you think his or her problem with unfaithfulness is something you have caused or you can solve.
- Stop another from abusing alcohol or legal or illegal drugs and substances or squandering resources with gambling. Sex addicitons of all forms may be included in the list. These are unique and personal issues and illnesses that are not “set off” by a partner or are ever a partner’s fault. “You made me do it” is a lie and ought to be treated as such.
- Share your partner with another in an emotional or shared sexual relationship and expect things to go enduringly well in your partnership.
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