The Mercury / Monday
There’s a lot of writing – whole books – about “love languages” and finding someone who speaks and understands yours. You can attend seminars to fine tune and understand your love language if you so desire.
Let me save you some money.
The following can (I say “can” because people of course use language to manipulate others) express love in any language:
• I love you. I am proud of you. You make my life richer. You make everything nicer.
• There is so much I respect about you. Would you like me to go into some detail?
• We have so many beautiful memories together. Would you like me to go into some detail?
• What would you like to tell me? I will give you my complete attention and I won’t interrupt you.
• How may I assist you today to make life a little – or a lot – easier for you?
The following do not express love in any language:
• I am tired of you saying the same old things.
• Life would be so much better if you would just….. (insert pet peeve).
• You should, you need, you ought….. (insert your subtle or gross form of control).
• I could forgive you if…… (name long-held grievance).
• No matter what you say I have heard it all before.
difficultrelationships.com 
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