Reducing the power and the pain after divorce

by Rod Smith

Reducing the power and the pain of separation and divorce for children…..

1. Speak no ill of your former spouse or former in-laws and friends. No matter how right you may be or how wrong everyone else may be, your children will not benefit by being trapped your unresolved conflicts.

“It’s like my dad divorced our uncles, too,” said a child recently.

2. Talk to each other as friends, not enemies.

“I wish they could just be friendly to each other,” is something children of divorce have often say.

3. Be as flexible as possible with schedules without presuming upon your former spouse about anything.

“My dad doesn’t seem to think my mom’s job is important,” reflected a young boy of divorce.

4. Pay every penny on time as decreed or decided.

“They fight over money the most,” said a divorce-weary teen.

5. Don’t pry at all, but most importantly, don’t pry through the children.

“She asks me about my weekend but she really wants to know what he’s doing,” said a teen of her mother.

6. Plan ahead as much as possible so moving between homes can be done as efficiently as possible.

“The worst part? Going between homes. Not living in ONE place,” said the 12-year-old when asked about his parents’ divorce.

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