Fundamentals

by Rod Smith

Fundamentals about human relationships:

  • Every interpersonal overreaction, poor attitude, expression of anger will have an equal and opposite reaction if it comes from a desire to control, manipulate, or maneuver another, no matter how much love there is purported to be. People are designed for freedom and attempts to restrict it will ultimately stir rebellion (it may take years) within the victim.  
  • The person who most wants whatever from another person (insert a desire: time, extended conversations, sex, a beach walk, loan, a long chat over coffee) places the potential giver in a position of power. This is part of the reason pleading and begging is so unattractive.
  • The stronger, more mature person of any two people in a relationship will be the one who seeks forgiveness and reconciliation when a relationship is derailed. While the focus is who is right or wrong and who need to apologize first and who started whatever, the people are not ready for reconciliation.
  • Mutual attraction is about matched levels of maturity or immaturity. People of dissimilar levels of maturity will hardly notice each other. Equally needy people will attract each other like powerful magnets and the attraction will feel like a match made in heaven – at least at first.  

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