“You recently listed 15 ‘pointers’ that make for relationship hell. I am 70 and have experienced every problem you listed since not long after we were married 50 years ago. Strangely, there was no sign of what was to follow during our two-year engagement. When I found out that he was Bipolar after 36 years of marriage, I blamed all these relationship problems on his being Bipolar. Is it possible that he also has an additional personality defect? I have tended to be tolerant because I thought him to be mentally ill!”

Being bi-polar is not a license to be manipulative or abusive. Regardless of age, the length of a marriage, or the degree of personal and interpersonal difficulties, I suggest all people resist and refuse to accommodate abusive behavior from any source. It is good for no one, not the victim or the perpetrator. Rock the boat – even after all these years, things can change.