Children fight in the back of the car…….

by Rod Smith

My children (sons who are 11 and 12) fight (argue) in the back of the car almost all the time. My husband seldom interferes and says we should just leave them to sort it out. I think it is damaging to the family and certainly ruins the journey. What do you think?

I tend to adopt an approach similar to that of your husband.

I try to stay out of conflicts between my children until it becomes dangerously physical or verbally aggressive – I do confess my parameters are quite wide. I firmly believe we do our children a disservice when we (parents and teachers) constantly monitor their every interaction and want their relationships to be somewhat perfect.

Also, I think that if I held the solution to this issue I’d be a very wealthy man.

My children can go from lovey-dovey-arm-over-shoulder-joke-a-minute-best-friends to arguing and yelling and pushing each other in the space of a few city blocks. Sometimes I handle their back-seat antics well. Sometimes I don’t.

2 Comments to “Children fight in the back of the car…….”

  1. My two sons, 7 and 10 are constantly fighting – there are rare occasions where they aren’t and I certainly cherish them. Unfortunately I do have to intervent because it quickly turns to pushing, shoving and verbal attacks.

  2. The biggest issue is safety. If it is distracting the driver, because of volume, it needs to stop. If they don’t comply, pull off the road or go home. Our other rule was no physical altercations in the house. Then they had the choice to continue outside or stop.

    As a mother of four boys, now 31-19 years old, I have witnessed many altercations between my sons. I was always amazed that many of these fights were followed by the boys sitting shoulder-to-shoulder playing a video game or doing some other bonding activity.

    All my sons have good relationships with each other.

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