He ignores Mothers Day

by Rod Smith

“My husband routinely ignores Mothers Day. I make a big deal out of Fathers Day and you’d think he would reciprocate. He does not. This has been going on for 21 years and my sons are following in his footsteps. I am tempted to ignore Fathers Day this year just to see if he notices.”

Are you a believer or not?

Show up, stand up, speak up....

Playing guessing games and playing hide and seek is for children – it is not for adults.

If you want attention shown to you at Mothers Day let your husband and your sons know.

Tell them ahead of time so that you are not left waiting to see what he or your sons will do for you.

If you have let this go on for 21 years I have to wonder what else you have left up to chance.

If you want your relationships to grow then lose the temptation to stand back and watch how others respond to you.

Show up. Stand up. Speak up. Leave as little to guesswork as possible. This done, at least you will have made your expectations clear and others can choose to deliver on your wishes or not.

2 Comments to “He ignores Mothers Day”

  1. I have always told him I feel let down and sad. He always says ” I have a headache and cant talk about right now.”.

  2. Something like this happened to me after our first child was born – once! The one thing an exhausted new Mom wanted on her birthday was a dinner out and a break from a very demanding baby, especially after I’d had a nerve-wracking experience that day (long story). My husband forgot my birthday and organised nothing. I couldn’t believe he was so thoughtless, but I suppose that’s the unromantic male. The next year I was in a knot wondering whether he would remember, so I dropped hints! At least he took the hint that year.
    I then told him I didn’t want to get stressed out every year wondering if he’d remember my birthday and other special occasions or not, so (while I was happy to cook him a nice dinner for his birthday), in future, regardless of whether he remembered my birthday or not, one thing I was not going to do was to cook on my birthday! Since then, he’s been very good about remembering, and in fact, now we go out for dinner for Valentine’s Day, our wedding anniversary and my birthday. While a lot depends on the type of person with whom one is dealing, I’ve found that on occasion an ultimatum works – it puts the ball in the other party’s court.
    What also helped, albeit many years later, was our going on a marriage course facilitated by the church I was attending (I became a Christian in the meantime). This was even though my husband is not a believer. I told him there was no point in my going on it if he didn’t go as well, since we were in this marriage together. This definitely benefited our marriage, as it encourages the husband to be more romantic, caring and considerate.
    About the enquirer’s sons: I have always got our sons to get gifts and (in their younger years) to make cards, for Father’s Day, birthdays, Christmas, etc. Even though they’re not big on the cards and gift-wrapping, they’ve learned! My husband has ensured the boys get me gifts for Mother’s Day and my birthday. I used to do a “wish lists”, and sometimes still do, to give them ideas for gifts to buy. Their purchases have often been done at the last minute, but they’ve done it! I’ve also told my sons that this is training for when they get married…

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