My son (19) and his girlfriend (18) want to live together in our home. He has a fulltime job but little money. She is a full time student. My wife and I do not agree with this plan and have tuned a blind eye to them regularly being together overnight in our home. If we tell them they cannot live together then he will move away and we will never see them. My wife and I feel trapped. What should we do?

I’d suggest feeling trapped is a feeling you have had long before your son brought home a girlfriend. It’s time to stand up to your son and the ploys you have all allowed to operate in the past.

Try to help your son and his girlfriend (talk with both at the same time) to appreciate the deeper matters. They apparently want an adult intimate relationship without the wallet to sustain it or the desire to commit and make it legal. They want what they can neither emotionally or financially afford. These are the matters worth discussing.

It’s not so much about what is occurring in your home, as distressing as it may be for you. Rather, it’s about whether your son and his girlfriend are sufficiently mature handle the kind of relationship they say they want.

Posted on July 6, 2010 at 6:54 am in Difficult Relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL