“I’m 35 and have been divorced for 5 years. I met a woman whose husband passed away two years ago. We are in love. I can’t stay away. We spend hours on the phone. The problem is that she wants to move on but is discouraged by her family. Her mum doesn’t want her to move on. She told her daughter not to communicate with me. The mum feels if I take the daughter away there’s no one to take the mum shopping. The mum says to the daughter the reason the mom left work was because of her and to look after the two children. They make the daughter feel guilty in every way possible. I told the daughter she must take control of it but she doesn’t want to disrespect her parents.” (Edited)

Your girlfriend has some decisions to make. The mother has reasons for stopping the daughter from moving on. The reasons might appear obvious to you but I believe there are deeper and hidden reasons: the belief that moving on will allow the deceased to be forgotten, or moving on is in some ways disrespectful to the man who is now gone.

Do not push. Invite. Challenge. But do not push. Try not to make the mother the enemy.