A wife responds to post from a the “other woman”….

by Rod Smith

“I feel compelled to respond to your letter from the ‘other woman’ in a relationship with a married man.

“My husband conducted a two-year extra-marital affair after many years of marriage. We survived the shocking discovery of my husband’s infidelity, but trust and respect, once broken, are difficult things to re-build. Understanding why a husband strays from a happy and long-standing marriage is totally impossible.

“Why did your reader end the three previous relationships that ‘were headed nowhere’? She says that there was no talk of marriage yet reveals total disrespect for marriage by her actions. Why is she now conducting an illicit affair expecting nothing? Perhaps she needs to carefully consider her apparent fear of long-term commitment and the motives of both parties.

“She needs to consider the damage that she and the married man are doing, not only to themselves but to his wife and family. She selfishly asserts that he is attentive and good to her, yet tacitly accepts that he is a cheat who, by his liaison with her, desecrates what should be the most important relationship in his life. My advice to your reader is to get out of this affair now, before hearts are broken by discovery and disclosure, and seek the counseling that she obviously needs.”

5 Comments to “A wife responds to post from a the “other woman”….”

  1. Nancy's avatar

    I don’t condone the actions of the other woman or the married man; however, I don’t think fear of long-term commitment is as apparent as the woman’s fear of rejection by another selfish single man. As for surviving spousal misconduct, I once heard a survivor describe the deep pain of her discovery and how after prayer and counseling, God renewed their marriage into a covenant of beauty. She confessed her bitterness and hurt pride to Him and forgave her husband even as he confessed his affair to her and asked her forgiveness. Without real forgiveness, how can survivors become lovers again?

  2. Cathy's avatar

    One wonder whether it is forgiveness or convenience…

  3. Rae Dawn's avatar

    There are many reasons husbands cheat on their wives and why single women choose to get involved with married men. In some instances, the married man is simply unhappy and realizes he has been married and has stayed married for financial reasons and because he does not want to abandon his children. He meets a single woman who appears to be more compatible and the single woman realizes that not all married men are cheats out for a cheap thrill. It is assumed that all people are “in love” when they get married. In many cases, I’ve found, this isn’t true. Marriage, like any other major decision, can be a mistake made with little thought or under the wrong circumstances or entered into with the wrong person. There are married men who come to terms with their unhappiness, ask for a divorce, and then accept the economic, social, and emotional consequences of following their hearts.

  4. Shaundra's avatar

    Yes we all know there are many reasons why married men cheat and usually it is for the thrill and just simple selfish behavior. Excuses can be made that sound good as to why they cheated. But bottom line is, it is what it is, cheating. If a man and his wife have a mutual understanding that they are going to stay married for the sake of whatever, but will see other people well at least no one is left in the dark. If an affair is being had behind someones back then that is just selfish. Weather unhappily married or not. If there is nothing there what’s the problem with telling your wife or husband I want to see other people. For women who cheat with married men they need to realize Karma is a b@%&h! This woman already knows that hence her fear of marriage herself. She knows she has it coming for her.

  5. secretlysubmissive's avatar

    Sometimes things happen beyond our controll, I have been there, and I know she she is hurting, but we are in love and have two children, and I’m not going away nor is he,! Check out my story u may have more understanding 😦
    http://secretlysubmissive.wordpress.com/

Leave a comment