Archive for May 20th, 2008

May 20, 2008

Am I doing the right thing….?

by Rod Smith

My husband of 15 years has been having an affair for 5 years and he still denies it. He sends the other woman text messages everyday saying how much he loves her. I asked him to decide whom he really wants and not to let me stand in their way of happiness. If he loves her I’ll set him free even though this will hurt the children but I cannot stay with someone who doesn’t love me. Otherwise he is a very good husband and father. Am I doing the right thing? (Minimal edits)

Essential to being a “good husband and a good father” is emotional, physical, and financial faithfulness. While your husband is invested in romantic pursuits outside of the marriage all he is really good at is make believe.

No one can tell you the “right thing” to do. This is something you have to decide.

It seems both your husband and the other woman have little dissonance regarding their duplicity.

The inner-part of you that cannot tolerate the pretense, or the lie, or playing second fiddle, is the healthy part of you, and it ought not to be denied or silenced.