Archive for May 24th, 2008

May 24, 2008

Conflict with friends…

by Rod Smith

actionspeaking11. Unless all parties are meeting with the goal of reconciliation do not agree to meet. Meeting to hurt and damage each other will serve no helpful ends.
2. Set a date and a time and parameters for your discussion. Agree on limits of time and topic and do not exceed them.
3. Keep to the essential issues without bringing up old or irrelevant material.
4. Listen more than you speak.
5. Don’t draw unrelated people – especially mutual friends – into the conflict.
6. Make notes of what you’d most like to say before you go to the meeting.
7. Leave room for humor.
8. Avoid sarcasm and cruelty.
9. Recall what brought you together as friends in the first place.
10. Be willing to forgive before it is asked of you.

May 24, 2008

Something has changed…

by Rod Smith

“My fiancé and I have been together for 5 years and something is suddenly wrong. I have tried talking to him about whatever is going on with him but he insists that things are fine but they do not feel fine. It just seems like chore to tell me he loves me or express any type of affection. Everything feels different and I hate it. Our wedding is in September and now I am wondering if he is getting cold feet and just can’t say anything. I have knots in my stomach all the time. What we had has faded. He says he loves me and nothing has changed. I try not to be suspicious and wonder if there is someone else. He seems to be getting more short and snippy and less and less happy with everything. I miss the man I fell in love with. I wish I knew what has changed, what is turning his head or even his heart. I wish he would stop telling me nothing is wrong.”

Put all your cards on the table! If this is how it is months before the wedding you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of struggle. Go face-to-face with him now rather than after the wedding.