“Our daughter has a great boyfriend. They are being wise. She has concerns about his feelings of insecurity and poor self-image. She is sometimes inclined to break up with him. However, he is very kind and they get on very well. I’ve recommended that she challenge him to get help as a pre-condition to marriage – rather than hoping that they will improve with time. I wonder if it is better rather that she give the relationship, or give him, more of a chance by saying that if he changed they could stay together. She is reluctant to challenge him for fear of doing him permanent damage, making his issues worse, and she wonders where ‘unconditional love’ comes into the question?” (Edited length only)
His “condition” will not improve with time, and it will not improve unless he becomes intimately engaged in a process of self-discovery, quite unrelated to your daughter. She is NOT the key to his emotional salvation. His growth should not be offered as a way to keep the relationship. Together or not, the young man will have to look at his fragile being and come to grips with what he offers the world.
difficultrelationships.com 