Archive for January 30th, 2008

January 30, 2008

I don’t want my parents smoking in my home….

by Rod Smith

“My parents are heavy smokers and I don’t want them smoking in my home. I am Biblically constrained to obey my parents and therefore feel I cannot ask them not to smoke when they visit me. Please help.” (Letter shortened)

You are an adult and therefore you are not “Biblically constrained to obey” your parents. Children are commanded in Scripture to “obey” their parents – and you are no longer a child. You, an adult, are to honor your parents and I’d suggest you could honor your parents while also requesting your mother and father to not smoke in your home.

Go ahead: speak up! It is your home and you are the one who must live with the lingering odors. An adult son or daughter who can engage in adult-to-adult conversations with his or her parents is indeed behaving in an honorable manner!

I am “constrained” declare that the Bible certainly does not expect any child to be blindly obedient to a toxic parent, and therefore be submitted to danger or abuse or unacceptable behavior of any kind. Integral to honoring anyone, is the ability to stand up to that person and refuse to be manipulated or intimidated, especially in the name of love or obedience.