“I just read your recommendations on blending finances when two people with children from different marriages decide to re-marry. Transparency makes ethical sense—it would be wrong for either party to enter a marriage without disclosing any serious debt he or she had. However, I totally disagree with the necessity to blend finances, and your advice to walk away if one party disagrees with blending I think is overkill—could even be injurious to a couple planning an otherwise honest, equitable arrangement. Stats show that second marriages are less likely to survive than first ones, and the inequity that could result after a second divorce could be extremely unfair to the person with the most money before marriage, or even the one that makes more during the second marriage, especially if their natural child or children are young. After a first marriage ends, I would advise hiring a financial advisor and attorney to evaluate one’s finances and find out the potential consequences of a second marriage, and divorce, on one’s finances and the financial future of one’s natural children. I have lived long enough to observe some real financial tragedies resulting from divorce and second and third marriages.”

Susan was responding to the following column:http://rodesmith.com/2006/03/21/step-parent-blended-family/