In further response to yesterday’s question from a mother and a son (13) who is ‘causing conflict in my new marriage.’ As quoted yesterday, the mother says, ‘I don’t think it has anything to do with his father. We’ve been divorced for eleven years. My son doesn’t see, or want to see, his dad at all. His dad doesn’t contact him so it is not that he wants us to get back together. The constant bickering is driving me insane,’ and ‘I’m at a point were I will pack my bags and leave.’
That a child does not see the “other” parent, or declares this is not something he or she wants to do – does not mean the absence of the other parent is not (partially) driving the child’s unwanted behavior. I’d suggest this boy has little or no idea why he is doing what he is doing, and that a professional could help him discover new and helpful ways to behave.
This is a “new” marriage for the mother; therefore it is also a new family arrangement for the boy. He’s occupying a new place in relation to his mother, which is enough reason for difficulty in itself. The least helpful action the mother could do is pack her bags and leave the very situation she helped create!
difficultrelationships.com 
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