Reader: I have discovered my husband has been phoning and seeing another woman and was even on the phone to her while I was giving birth to our second child. Now that I have asked him to leave and now that I have all the phone records, I see this has been going on for about six months. The strange thing is that his family now sees him as the victim and I am seen as the selfish one because he is not living with his children. Am I going crazy or I am right in standing my ground even after a new baby has come into our lives? I don’t want to be in second place to any woman even if he says that no physical stuff has happened between him and this other woman. Please help.
Rod’s Response: I’d encourage you to seek face-to-face professional help. This immediate situation (his attachment to another woman, your wanting him to leave, his family seeing him as the victim) has to have a context in which all these sad and hurtful events have occurred.
Before you file for divorce I’d suggest a series of strong encounters with a courageous therapist will help you both discover whether this marriage can survive this trauma or not.
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