Archive for April 28th, 2006

April 28, 2006

Child with needs: what can we do?

by Rod Smith

Reader Query: Our son is 7 and the youngest of two. He is going through a terrible patch of feeling unheard, unloved and unequal. He is very intelligent and confident which is extremely over-powering. His demands cannot be met because he has overstepped all his boundaries. He has a heart of gold and a soft inner personality but his outer appearance is tough and strong. He is crying out for help and so are we, especially me, his mother with whom he feels he can just be himself and it gets very out of control. I find myself trying to escape him, which torments me because my two boys are MY LIFE. My husband says he needs to know where he stands, find where he belongs in life, and, once his confidence is up again, he will excel because he has leadership qualities! The boy has just overcome shingles and was very ill. I am certain it was due to stress, although I could be wrong. Please help. (Letter edited)

Rod’s Reply: I found your letter moving. Please seek face-to-face help with a pediatrician. Consider a personal journey to a place where your children are part of, but not YOUR LIFE. Some space between you and the boys might benefit everyone in the family.