Archive for April 5th, 2006

April 5, 2006

Husband told his dad he could stay with us….

by Rod Smith

I feel like I have been hit on the back of the head with a cricket bat! My father-in-law is out of work and my husband has agreed to have him move in with us on a temporary basis. After my mother-in-law passed away two years ago the man has never been able to recover and I know this (his moving in) is going to put extra strain on our already tough marriage. The man is very kind and does not drink or smoke. it is just that he will be even more of a financial strain once he is living here. My husband did not ask me even though I know I would have agreed. What plan of action do you think I should take about how long he should stay and so on?

Welcome your husband’s father. Regard his moving in as an opportunity to empower and challenge everyone to grow from the experience. There are too many unknowns for me to be very specific in my suggestions, but these kinds of arrangements tend to “fall apart” when there is a lack of clarity at the outset. If you see this as temporary you might want to have both men spell out what “temporary” means to each of them.