1. Does not intentionally embarrass you in private or in public by what he/she says or does. Partners sometimes use scornful humor and cutting sarcasm in private and in public. Love does all it can to avoid such behavior. (Parents who intentionally embarrass their children may well love their children, but their behavior is not loving).
2. Listens attentively to what you have to say to others even if he/she has heard what you are saying many times.
3. Stands up for you when you are right and stands up to you when you are not.
4. Will refuse to be a pushover within the relationship.
5. Does not offer you unquestioned support no matter what you want to do. Unquestioned support comes, arises not from love, but from idiocy. Blind support is no sign of love, not even in a marriage.
6. Is not afraid to ask tough questions. He/she who knows he/she is loved will welcome tough questions.
7. Does not try to cut you off from your community, monitor what you read or to whom you talk.
8. Does not tell you how to dress, speak, think or feel.
9. Gives you regular uninterrupted, eye-to-eye contact time in order to hear what is occurring in your life and about what is important to you and to similarly reflect about his/her life. This means time without television, radio, music, and cellular phones, pagers, computers, Email, or children invading the holy territory between you.
10. Regards your shared private life with absolute and undiluted respect.
A person who loves you…….
2 Comments to “A person who loves you…….”
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Just because somebody loves you, it does not necessarily mean they won’t embarrass you. Parents often embarrass children even though they love them. The same can be said of people in relationships. It would be silly to assume someone didn’t love me just because they happened to embarrass me a couple of times, especially if it was not purposefully.
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Dear Carolyn — I thank you for your observation. I will edit the entry to be more clear……. Rod
difficultrelationships.com 