QUESTION: My children (8 and 9) really like their mother’s boyfriend and I am fine with it. He is okay with the children and I know from a distant mutual acquaintance that he is a good father to his own children. The problem is that I think he tries too hard with mine and they say he is trying to take my place. I get all this third hand when the children come to me (most weekends). From your columns over the past few weeks I get the feeling it would be good for me to meet him. My ex-wife would probably not want me to meet him. What do you think?
RESPONSE: You have every right to meet any person who is sharing time with your children. You do not need your ex-wife’s permission. I’d suggest you phone him and cordially invite him to talk face-to-face. When you meet, don’t critique his relationship with your children, talk about your ex-wife or create any false alliance with him. Do not draw your ex-wife into this. He might choose to tell her about your phone call but that is something over which you have no control. Go well: you are being the man your children can respect.
