Forgiving all others (no matter what) and self-forgiveness (no matter what) are often hurdles for many people to clear.

The latter is often more difficult than the former.

“You want me to make him free after what he did to me? Really,” someone may appeal, “he deserves to suffer.”

“Forgive myself? Deciding I am free after all I have done? I cannot forgive myself after the hurt I have caused. I deserve the regret and guilt. I need to suffer,” summarizes sentiments I have repeatedly heard.

Both responses (sometimes coming from the same person) leaves the speaker burdened, unresolved, unsettled. It leaves the speaker burdened, often year-in and year-out.

Is that you?

Setting others free, scores unsettled, giving oneself the grace to embrace mutual imperfections, in order to move closer toward embracing ourselves and others, while being imperfect,  increases our capacity (yours and mine) to treat others and ourselves with greater compassion and increased empathy.

The forgiver forgives for his or her sake to find freedom, peace of mind.

People often find it easier and are more ready to forgive others than they are to forgive themselves. I hope you will be able and willing to do both.

And, I hope the same for me.