You will know when your son or daughter (or You and I) are growing up and finding emotional maturity when …..

• He no longer talks like a victim and sees the world through the eyes of one who is disadvantaged. This has nothing to do with economic privilege or the lack of it.
• She no longer looks for who to blame for any and all circumstances in her life. This does not mean there are no legitimate issues where blame may be appropriate. It means she knows that continueing to blame others will get her nowhere worth going. 
• He takes responsibility for his situations because he knows he is the one common denominator on all of his affairs and relationships. Avoiding responsibility blocks progress and limits growth. 
• She learns the valuable lesson that she teaches people how to treat her with every interaction every day. What she tolerates will become the norm. 
• He speaks and behaves as one who knows what he wants, where he is going, and has a plan on how to get there. Knowing what he wants also clarifies what he doesn’t want.  

(I have used “he” and “she” simply because all apply to both males and females).