There’s an “us” between us, between you and me, no matter how close or platonic our relationship may be.

When I do my part to care for it (the “us”) and you do your part to care for it, things go better all round for each of us. We do this when we each maintain clear distinctions of who and what we are to each other. When I’m honest, kind and generous toward you, intimate or platonic, and you return the favor, the “us” grows in trustworthiness and our confidence in each other and even in ourselves, grows.

There’s “space” between close friends and intimates and when I do my part to care for it and you do your part to care for it, things go better for each of us.

The space between us is kept clear, clean, healthy when respect and equality and mutuality and freedom flow between us.

When the space between us is clear, the story we know and tell of each other is affirming and accurate. It is when the space between us is cluttered with half-truths and suspicion that we have to invent the story we tell ourselves and it usually comes out full of hope or fear – or both.